Why does this stuff only happen to me?

So, last night I ventured to Tuscaloosa as a hostess for a "Cocktails and Dinner" festivity for the weekend nuptials of a Mr. Baxter and Miss Cramer.  Mr. Smith met me down there, and while I left the party around 9:45pm to head home to B'ham, he stayed with Coop to enjoy a golf outing today with the other men of the wedding. 

Which means, that I got home around 10:45pm to a dark house by myself.  As I unloaded the car with purse, bag, clothes, mail, etc. I made my way over to our outside trash can to drop off my empty Diet Coke can, then walked over to our back door.  No keys.  I went through the purse, the bag, the clothes, crawled back in the car and search every nook and cranny.  Still no keys.  Predicament, because they are obviously somewhere since I just drove home, but hiding from me.  In the dark... seeing that I have no flashlight. 

Retracing my steps like a practical person would, I end up at the trash can.  I open it, peer inside, and shuffle a few bags around, when I hear them clink down to the bottom.  Undaunted, I turn the trash can on its side and proceed to crawl in, head first, on all fours.  Yep.  Guys, it was not pretty.  I can only imagine what the neighbors thought.  Once keys were secured, I back out (in my party dress and wedges), covered in sticky, mysterious brown goo.  Awesome.  There are no pictures of this, for obvious reasons.

We're gearing up for another wedding weekend in Tuscaloosa!  Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend themselves, and I will be back with pictures sometime soon of the cute party last night and our wedding weekend fun.  Please remember to keep your keys securely in hand at all times, lest you find yourselves waist deep in your outside trash can with week-old trash.