25 Things

To give you a little flavor, today’s post is inspired by another fellow mommy blogger. You should check her out – she’s hilarious and will keep you in stitches.

25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

1. When I was younger, I wanted to be a Subway Sandwich Artist when I grew up. The tiny compartments, all organized and whatnot, sent me swooning.


2. Once I realized I was just OCD, highly organized, I later turned that dream into joining the Peace Corps. Obviously, that didn’t pan out either.


3. I have double-jointed arms. Seriously – I can rotate them a full 360 degrees.


4. I have strange muscle control and can do all those weird things like wiggle my ears (one at a time), raise my eyebrows individually, and do a headstand for long periods of time. H thinks this is hilarious.


5. I’m still a proud member of the No Cavity Club.


6. I’ve never broken a bone. Unless you count a messy incident where my right shoulder was popped out of place in high school, and I had a very embarrassing “Rookie of the Year” moment when my grandmother had to pick me up and take me to the Emergency Room, where I rode in the passenger seat of her car with my right arm out the window because I couldn’t get it down. It still locks in place to this day.  And, unlike the movie, when you do this to your arm, you do not get drafted in the Major Leagues. 

7.  I had four surgeries on my feet in college.  That actually sounds more glamorous than what really happened - bunions.  Like, 80-year-old, old lady bunions.  By the time the fourth surgery rolled around, I was so annoyed that the doctor cut open my foot and took out the screw without putting me to sleep, so I got to see the whole thing.  Read:  feel the whole thing.  I have a very high pain tolerance.  And I had to wear a super cool boot with velcro straps for the better part of my Junior year in college.  Hot. 


8. I have a fear of clowns. If I see an adult clown, especially a male, I will curl up in the fetal position try to exit the situation as soon as possible.


9. I am also grossed out by most fruits, particularly strawberries and kiwi. I think it’s the seeds. Or that they get hairy. Either way – ew.

Side note:   If I saw a clown holding a bucket of strawberries, I might pass out.


10. I grew up on a farm, with hay haulin’ in the summer, horse riding, chickens, a pond and everything - although I’ve never fallen off of a horse. See #6.


11. I’m a total nerd and still think The Goonies is the best movie ever.


12. Speaking of nerds, is anyone else excited they’re making a Ghostbusters 3 or Anchorman 2? Anyone? I can quote Anchorman and Elf verbatim.


13. I’m a complete bookworm and speed reader. When I was little, I use to get in trouble for not “doing my chores” because I was hiding somewhere reading. True story. Ask Deena.


14. I can beat anyone in Friends Trivia. If you doubt this, bring it on. It has been proven time and time again – total domination. Monica Gellar is my long lost twin sister.


15. In case you missed the boat, I’m highly competitive. See #14 or any past references to Game Nights.


16. When I watch the Crimson Tide football team play, I turn into a very aggressive-speaking person. I hear it can be embarrassing to the people sitting with me. See #15.


17. I have a bizarre taste in music, which will range from Guns ‘N Roses to Salt ‘N Pepa to Journey to Classical. And I’ll probably know about 90% of the words if it’s from 1980 – 1995.


18. I love music (see #17), and played the piano from age 7 to 18. Sometimes you can catch me “playing” to songs on the radio on my steering wheel or in church singing hymns.


19. I’m pretty sure the new Snickers commercials were based on my tendency to get “hangry” (Hungry + angry.  Feel free to use in everyday convo) when I haven’t eaten in a while. If my blood sugar drops… watch out.


20. At any given time, I have multiple “To Do Lists” running through my head. These range anywhere from Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Before I Turn 30, Traveling, and Bucket.


21. I’m a horrible texter. I have no idea what any of those acronyms mean.


22. I’m like an elephant and very rarely forget anything. If I can read it, I can usually remember it.


23. I hate math, but I work in the financial planning and management sector in marketing.


24. If time and resources were not such hurdles, I would have 20 children. Okay, maybe 10. But not just biological – I would adopt from all over the world and have a mini-United Nations in my house to take care of. I think being a mom is the most fun, exciting, exhausting thing I’ve ever done.


25. Sometimes if I’m having a bad day, I’ll go through a Drive Thru and ask the person at the window if I can pay for the person in the car behind me. I like to watch their reactions when they pull up and realize their meal has been paid for. Makes that bad day melt away, fo sho.

Hope that made you laugh.  Love, Mommy Smith