Twas the Night Before Christmas...

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas (otherwise known as Nick Saban) soon would be there.

Harrison and I were nestled all snug in our bed,
While the family had left for church service, to hear the Scripture read.

And mamma in her plaid PJs, and H in his cap,
Had just settled and fallen asleep for an abbreviated night's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
for I had walked into the hallway to empty my bladder.
The home security system was ON and GOING like a flash,

And I broke out in a cold sweat and ran to key in the code with a dash.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a police car, with full lights on, drawing near.

With a knock at the front door, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was NOT St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and wondered just what was my name!

The security system did not have you on their approved list, you Vixen!
So off I came quick and with a Blitzen!
But with plaid pajamas and an awakened baby on the hip,

He believed my shock of being caught on a nightly bathroom trip.

So off in his police car the kind officer flew,
With my relief I wasn't in his backseat, with Harrison too.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

True Story.